The Missing Link Between Knowledge and Human Flourishing

Why knowing what helps us thrive does not always mean we will live by it

© 2026. Luis A. Marrero. Boston Institute for Meaningful Purpose

This is the second article in a series exploring a question at the heart of Meaningful Purpose Psychology: Why do we so often struggle to live according to what we already know contributes to healthier, more meaningful lives? In the first article, “What If the Life You Want Starts with Asking a Better Question?”, we explored the gap between knowing and living. Here, we take the next step: What happens between the two?

What we know influences us. The meanings we give to what we know help shape how we live.

What if the difference between the life we know is possible and the life we actually live depends on something we rarely pause to examine?

Most of us have experienced an uncomfortable moment when we knew better but did something else. We knew we should listen, but we interrupted. We knew an angry response would likely make matters worse, but we sent the message anyway. We knew someone deserved appreciation, but we never expressed it. We knew holding onto resentment hurt us more than it helped, yet we kept rehearsing the offense. A leader may know people need to feel psychologically safe, yet become defensive when someone disagrees. An organization may declare that its employees are its most important asset while tolerating practices that leave those same employees feeling unimportant.

These contradictions are surprisingly common. They raise a question I have been exploring for much of my professional life:

What happens between knowing something and actually living it?

In my previous article, What If the Life You Want Starts with Asking a Better Question?, I explored the gap between what we know and how we live. Psychology, leadership research, organizational development, and the flourishing sciences have given us an extraordinary amount of useful knowledge. We know far more today about relationships, motivation, well-being, leadership, psychological safety, purpose, and human flourishing than earlier generations did.

Yet knowledge does not automatically translate into a way of life. Something happens between the two. I believe that something deserves much more of our attention.

Between Knowing and Doing

Here is something I have experienced as a trainer, coach, and consultant. Imagine two managers attending the same leadership program. During the program, they learn about the importance of acknowledging mistakes. They hear evidence that leaders who appropriately admit mistakes may foster greater trust, learning, and openness. Both managers hear the same information.

The first manager thinks: “Acknowledging a mistake demonstrates integrity. I don't have to pretend to be perfect to be a good leader.”

The second manager thinks: “If I admit that I was wrong, people may question whether I am competent enough to lead them.”

The information is the same, but something very different has happened inside each person. The information has acquired meaning, and that meaning may influence what happens next. The first manager may return to work more willing to acknowledge mistakes, invite feedback, and learn openly. The second may return with exactly the same leadership knowledge while continuing to hide mistakes, defend decisions, and resist criticism. Both managers know the lesson, but they do not necessarily mean the same thing by it.

That distinction may help us understand something important about human flourishing. Information Is Not Meaning. Information tells us something about reality. Meaning involves how we understand what that information signifies for ourselves, other people, our circumstances, and what we should do next.

Consider how often this happens. A difficult conversation can mean:

“This relationship is falling apart.” Or:

“This is an opportunity for us to understand each other better.”

Receiving corrective feedback can mean:

“I am not good enough.” Or: “Someone is helping me see something I could not see for myself.”

A professional setback can mean:

“I am a failure.” Or: “Something I attempted failed, and I need to understand why.”

An employee questioning a leader can mean:

“My authority is being challenged.” Or: “Someone cares enough about the outcome to raise a concern.”

The event matters. The facts matter. Reality matters. But so does the meaning we use to understand what happened. That leads to an important distinction:

What we know influences us. What we mean by what we know may help determine how we live.

This is one of the central concerns of Meaningful Purpose Psychology.

When Meanings Begin to Govern Us

Not every meaning we create becomes equally important. Some are temporary. We reconsider them as new information becomes available. Others become more established. Over time, we develop meanings about success and failure, love and conflict, authority and responsibility, trust and vulnerability, work and money, ourselves and other people.

Consider meanings such as: “I must always appear competent.” “People cannot be trusted.” “Results matter more than how people are treated.” “My worth depends upon what I accomplish.” “If I disagree with someone in authority, I will suffer for it.”

Or consider very different meanings: “Every person possesses dignity, even when I strongly disagree with them.” “Admitting that I was wrong gives me an opportunity to learn.” “Leadership includes helping other people become more capable.” “Success matters, but not at the expense of becoming someone I do not want to be.”

When meanings become sufficiently established, they can do more than influence an isolated decision. They can begin to govern. They influence what we notice, how we interpret what happens, what we expect from other people, what we consider important, and what we decide to do.

This raises a very different developmental question. Instead of asking only: What do I know? Perhaps we should also ask: What meanings are actually governing the way I live?

When Good Knowledge Meets a Different Governing Meaning

This may help explain something that has puzzled me for years. Why can someone sincerely believe that honesty is important and still lie when the truth becomes costly? Why can someone value kindness and still behave contemptuously toward a person with whom they strongly disagree? Why can a leader attend years of leadership training yet continue behaving in ways that diminish people? Why can an organization invest heavily in employee engagement while maintaining a culture in which employees feel afraid to speak honestly?

Perhaps we sometimes assume that once people possess healthier knowledge, healthier behavior should naturally follow. But what if the healthier knowledge encounters another meaning that has become more influential?

“I should tell the truth.” meets “If people discover what happened, I could lose everything.”

“I should listen to my employees.” meets “A strong leader must always have the answer.”

“I should treat this person with dignity.” meets “People like that do not deserve my respect.”

“I should take better care of myself.” meets “Everyone else's needs must always come before mine.”

Now we can begin to see the problem differently. The person may not need to be told again what they already know. They may need to understand the meaning that is competing with—or even governing—the knowledge they are trying to live by.

The Question Beneath the Behavior

This is one reason Meaningful Purpose Psychology does not begin by assuming that unwanted behavior is simply a knowledge problem. Sometimes it is. But sometimes asking, “Why did I do that when I knew better?” can lead us somewhere more interesting.

What did I believe was happening? What did I think was at stake? What was I trying to protect? What did this situation mean to me? What did I assume about the other person? What did I believe would happen if I responded differently?

These questions move us beneath the visible behavior. And what we find there may surprise us.

A controlling leader may be protecting a meaning about competence. A person avoiding a difficult conversation may be living from a meaning about conflict. Someone who constantly seeks achievement may be living from a meaning about personal worth. Someone who refuses to reconsider an opinion may be protecting a meaning connected to identity.

This does not mean every behavior can be reduced to a single meaning. Human beings are far more complicated than that. Nor does understanding a meaning excuse harmful behavior. It simply gives us another place to look. And sometimes looking in a different place allows us to see something we have been missing.

What This Could Mean for the Workplace

Now take this same question into an organization. For decades, organizations have invested enormous resources in leadership development, employee engagement, organizational culture, motivation, well-being, psychological safety, communication, and change management. Much of this work has been valuable. Yet many workplaces continue to struggle with stress, disengagement, mistrust, poor leadership, unhealthy conflict, and employees who feel disconnected from their work. That continuing challenge is one of the questions behind my upcoming webinar on healthier and more meaningful work experiences. (Boston IMP)

What if we added another question to our organizational work? Not only: What practices should leaders and employees learn?

But also: What meanings are people actually living by when they return to work?

An organization may teach collaboration while employees live by: “Look out for yourself.” It may teach psychological safety while managers believe: “Good leaders don't tolerate dissent.” It may promote innovation while employees have learned: “Making a mistake here will hurt my career.” It may talk about employee well-being while its underlying culture communicates: “Your value is determined by your productivity.”

If those meanings remain untouched, another training program may add valuable knowledge without necessarily changing what governs everyday behavior. That possibility deserves serious consideration.

From Healthier Knowledge to Healthier Living

This question has become increasingly important as I complete my forthcoming book, THRIVE™: The Meaningful Purpose Field Guide. The book explores a developmental question that has occupied me for many years:

How do healthier ways of understanding ourselves, other people, and reality become enduring healthier ways of living?

THRIVE™ does not begin with the assumption that people simply need another list of things they should do. Most of us already have plenty of lists. Instead, I am interested in what helps healthier meanings become increasingly stable ways of understanding ourselves, other people, and reality—and how those meanings can increasingly find expression in the way we live. That means human development cannot end with knowing. We must also learn to see. To notice the meanings we have inherited, constructed, trusted, and sometimes lived by for years without examining them carefully.

Some of those meanings may be remarkably healthy. Some may have helped us survive difficult periods of our lives. Some may contain important truths but need refinement. And some may no longer deserve the authority we have given them. The goal is not to become suspicious of everything we believe. It is to become increasingly capable of seeing clearly enough to recognize which meanings deserve to continue governing the lives we are creating.

Perhaps that is one of the missing links between knowledge and human flourishing. Not simply knowing more. But becoming wiser about the meanings through which we live what we know.

Take a Meaningful Pause

Before moving on with your day, consider one question:

What meaning might be governing something you do—even though you already know a better way?

Don't rush to change it. First, become curious about it. Sometimes seeing what has been governing us is the beginning of discovering another way to live.

Continue the Conversation

These questions become especially important in the workplace, where the meanings held by leaders, employees, teams, and organizations can influence how people experience dignity, trust, safety, contribution, leadership, and work itself.

On Wednesday, August 19, 2026, from 10:00 AM to 12:00 PM EST, I will be hosting a free virtual webinar, Discover What Sustains Healthier and More Meaningful Work Experiences. We will explore why workplaces continue to struggle despite decades of interventions, how Meaningful Purpose Psychology helps us examine these patterns, and what may help create and sustain healthier and more meaningful experiences at work. (Boston IMP)

Learn more and register for the free webinar

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